If you’re dealing with a toddler throwing things, you know how frustrating it can be. From the near-miss of a toy train to the painful surprise of a Lego underfoot, toddlers can make everyday objects seem like dangerous projectiles. But there’s a method to the madness, and understanding why your little one throws things is the first step to managing it effectively. Let’s explore the reasons behind this behavior and, most importantly, how to redirect it.
When Do Toddlers Start Throwing Things?
Toddlers generally start throwing things around 12 to 18 months. According to Gabrielle Felman, MSEd, LCSW, an early childhood development specialist, babies begin by releasing and dropping objects as early as 9 to 12 months. This is usually the first stage of learning to throw. By 18 to 24 months, they become more precise and coordinated, often throwing small balls overhand.
Why Do Toddlers Throw Things?
Throwing things is a developmental milestone. Felman explains that tossing objects helps toddlers develop both fine and gross motor skills. This activity strengthens their hand-eye coordination, muscle strength, and motor planning. Toddlers use throwing to explore their environment, understand concepts like gravity and cause-and-effect, and even test social boundaries.
Nia Flowers, MS, BCBA, LBA, a child development expert, adds that throwing can be a way for toddlers to communicate when they lack the words to express their needs. If a child can’t say, “I’m done” or “I want something else,” they might throw things to convey these messages.
How to Stop Your Toddler from Throwing Things?
Managing a toddler’s throwing habit involves a mix of strategies to redirect and encourage appropriate behavior:
1. Create “Yes” Moments
For every “no,” find a “yes.” Cindy Hovington, PhD, founder of Curious Neuron, suggests allowing toddlers to throw in safe, acceptable ways. For example, after a diaper change, let them throw the diaper in the trash. This way, they can satisfy their curiosity while learning boundaries.
2. Model Appropriate Behavior
Show your child what to do instead. If they throw food to signal they’re done eating, narrate what you see and guide them to use words instead: “I see you’re throwing spaghetti on the floor. That tells me you’re done. You can say, ‘All done.’” Even if they can’t speak yet, modeling language can help them learn over time.
3. Stay Calm and Neutral
When your toddler throws something, remain calm and avoid making a big fuss. If they throw food, leave it; if it’s a toy or a cup, pick it up without saying anything and put it back. Repeating this calm response teaches them that throwing won’t get the reaction they might be seeking.
4. Redirect Their Attention
Since toddlers don’t yet have impulse control, you can redirect their energy by offering alternatives. If they seem eager to throw a cup, hand them a ball instead and encourage them to throw that. This way, they learn there are appropriate objects and times for throwing.
5. Pick Your Battles
Sometimes, it’s okay to let go. Dr. Lee Savio Beers, a pediatrician, suggests observing the situation to understand if your toddler is trying to express a specific need or emotion. By identifying the underlying cause, you may find ways to prevent the behavior before it starts.
6. Be Patient
Changing behaviors takes time. Felman emphasizes that consistency, patience, and repetition are key. Your toddler will eventually learn what’s acceptable, but it won’t happen overnight.
When Will My Toddler Stop Throwing Things?
Most toddlers begin to understand social cues and safety rules between 24 to 30 months, which can naturally reduce their desire to throw things. However, every child is different, and this timeline may vary. If you’re unsure whether your child’s behavior is typical, consult your pediatrician for guidance.
Conclusion
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution for stopping a toddler from throwing things, but by understanding the developmental reasons behind this behavior and applying consistent strategies, you can guide your child towards more appropriate actions. Remember, this phase is a normal part of growing up, and with a bit of patience, you’ll get through it.
